Naillie's Journal
by MidnightCrimsonRose27
Summary: Wish upon any star. Whether it would be malign, humane, or even a dangerous desire. When Naillie, a 14 year old “normal” teenager discovers something beyond her world, life and death all depend on her choices.
1. Chapter 1

Preface

Love is complicated.

But when you have to make life decisions around that person to be with them,

Love gets really problematic.

And you think, well, how do I know?

Know what?

Falling in love?

Well, I guess, you'll know.

What if I have to choose between two?

No, there's only one.

Whether you meet them when your 10 or 40 years old.

There's no way around love.

That's why decisions can be so difficult.

Like I said.

Love is way, way too complicated!!

Chapter 1

Long...Long Night

**I walked to the grave where the most important person of my life lay, motionless. **Idraggedmyfeet, tears streaming down my face. I'm the last one to leave after spending hours talking to him in the pouring rain. Mom was worried, but(to my asking)left. I promised him I would come back tomorrow, knowing I wouldn't last long staying in my room, alone. I finally picked myself up off the ground. I noticed when I stood up I was numb from my head to my toes and had blisters all over my hands. Knowing me I probably had athletes foot and needed to be admitted to the hospital. _But that doesn't matter _I thought. I called a cab, knowing I couldn't drive at how mad I was, I might go on a rampage and starthitting objects or people. I sighed and let out a few more tears. I slid in the cab and noticed what time it was_, __**3:23a.m..**_It was a short ride-thank god-even though I thought about him in-between thinking how my mother must feel. She probably would think I was kidnaped by someone who stole corpses in the late hours of the night. I'd be strong enough to fend for myself, I think. In a surprise to myself, when I got home I ran upstairs and slammed the door shut. I locked my door, and stared at my room. It was small, but I didn't mind. There were posters everywhere of many rock bands that I fantasized of playing along with when my life started over again. Would it start over? Is this the end? Or would I just live with the guilt of not using my time more carefully. I didn't know how many deep breaths in would take to cure this emptiness I felt inside, it was like a avalanche of rocks fell on me and I couldn't breathe. Then a sudden physical emotion came up from behind me, I was exhausted. I laid in my twin-sized bed trying to sleep, and get away this feeling of tiredness so I could go see him in-... I really didn't know when I would _see _him again. Maybe in my dreams or if I-. NO! Damn, I never really thought ever of killing myself, but this seems to be a probable sit-. NO! I screamed, not knowing I said it out loud. My mother stormed in. I saw a certain emotion on her face. Relief. Yeah, that was it. But also stress because she didn't know if I would ever get over him and move on with my life. To break the minutes silence, she finally spoke. "Are you okay" she said. How was I supposed to answer this. What, with a "Sure, I'm great" or something like "Hey mom guess what, I'm going to kill myself to be with my 'soulmate'. Yes 'soulmate', even though my mom called us a 'young love' and my brother Dean mimicked my mom and yelled over her saying 'young lovers' like we were hiding from everyone and I secretly lost my virginity. Which just makes me think, think of how he was way too young to have died, too young for us to explore more of us. But there wasn't going to be more of us, his time, our time has run out. After what felt like an hour and almost forgetting the question my mother asked, I spoke. "I'm feel like crap". I started then, crying wasn't hard to start now-a-days. After what happened, sedatives seemed like the only solution to stop me from getting sick. It's nice to be honest with my mom even though I felt even more worse than "crap". More like someone who had their heart, soul, and knowledge about anything and everything of love being ripped away from them in an instant. Yep, that's exactly how I was feeling. But did I actually know what love was? I mean, I was only fourteen but I guess when you know that you can see that person everyday, love every part of their personality, lifestyle, and most of all their mother, and the fact that part of your heart _would_ die if you ever saw them in pain or...underground, never to see their perfectly flawed face again, that's my version of love. I don't think that's the definition of love but that's _my_ love, which is enough for me for a lifetime, but I can't help but being so selfish as to want more, more of _his_ time. "Well honey, we could talk about it tomorrow". To get time alone to cry, I spoke fast. "Mom, I think it is already tomorrow" I sighed. "I guess, well you can take how much time as you need on this, honey. Goodnight, I love you". She said. "I love you too". Wow, ever since my dad died 7 years before now, I still get caught off guard by the three magical words of forever- 'I love you'. When he said 'I love you', it was genuine, like there was no other word that could describe how he felt, I believed it. When my mother said it, it was meant as a reminder that she would love me unconditionally. Now another feeling came over me. Nausea. The mental image of him laying forever in a grave, never to see sunlight again, or the millions of stars that graze the sky every night. It kills me inside. It's all my fault, no one knows it, but it's true. I shouldn't have told him. I tried to sleep it off, but I woke up a few times in the nighttime or daytime, whatever time it was, and ran to the bathroom to throw up, either it was the tears or the dinner, the last dinner I had with him the night before the _accident_ on May 16th, 2006 at _**6:54a.m.**__. _Whenever I think about the incident, I think of how we met and the ups and downs we went through. It's _**8:01a.m. **_and I can't sleep. Actually, blinking is hard too. Might as well reread for the 9th time, my journal, the biography or lifeline of he and I's undying love. It's the only thing that keeps him alive.

On the first page I wrote:

I always thought that falling head over heels for a guy was a hoax, but when it finally happens to you, it's all started the first day of school.

_Naillie's Journal_: Monday, August 15th, 2005

_When I walked up to my school, I noticed it seemed different. I know, I know, being a 8__th__ grader and seeing this building over 200 times, you would think that I would be tired of this place, I wasn't. I guess I had more experience in this place. I mean like more friends, confidence, and most of all, a boyfriend. His name is Dustin Adlam. I met him in the summer, he's nice, funny, and really sarcastic. We hit it off right away. One time we were in this summer camp thing and I was hit in the calf with a baseball and Dustin beat up the guy who he thought threw it. Turned out, he didn't throw it. The only dreadful thing I have to deal with now is that he goes to another school. My school, City Arcs Middle School is a 2 story building with a lake on the left side of the school. The distance between the school and the lake is about 3 feet and is covered with cracked, unleveled concrete. And the lake is about 10, maybe 15 feet deep. I'd hate to be the one who fell in there and got all soaking wet. The bell rang and I rushed to first period. Outside Mrs. Call's classroom, I saw snow falling down, a sure sign that winter has arrived in Fort Morgan, Colorado. Mrs. Call taught mathematics. Great. That's just what I need. Numbers at 8a.m.. That's why I thought right then and there I would run out and get my schedule changed. I'm so tired. See, when summer goes on and on, I sleep whenever I want. I'm practically nocturnal. And when the first day of school comes around, every year, I feel like sleeping in school and staying up all night. It's hard to keep my eyelids open but I know, once I get home, I'm slamming my head on my pillow and taking a big nap. Pretty much, the day passed by with no events, except for the throwing papers in Mr. Kroms' 6__th__ Period. Ugh. _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Big...Big Dump

Wait! Now that I have showed you my introduction, it's time for the best part of my story! Our story. This journal shows how my life turned from normal to pure craziness. If you don't like love, drama, action, sappy romance scenes, and slight paranormal, etc, then I suggest you put this book down and choose your favorite Power Rangers Magazines, boys. Girls, you might like it. Anyway...enjoy my life!

_Naillie's Journal_: Monday, September 26th , 2005

_All my friends were out of control today. I mean this new music video came out from this pop artist. Ugh. Totally not me. I prefer total Rock and Roll. Anyway, so my best friend in the whole entire world, Robyn has just told me that this new boy just transferred from Mexico. Well this is kinda how the conversation went: _

Me: Hey Robyn!

Robyn: Hey, I need to tell you something!

Me: What?

Robyn: There's this really hot guy coming to City Arcs' from Mexico.

_Not that interested I said_.

Me: Have you even seen him yet?

Robyn: No, but I know he'd be great for you.

Me: Girl, I have a boyfriend.

Robyn: You mean Dustin, I haven't seen him around.

Me: He goes to another-

Robyn: Whatever!

Me: Why don't _you_ go out with him?

Robyn: Because he's Spanish.

_I was confused_.

Me: Why?

Robyn: He speaks Spanish and I don't have the patience or motivation to learn it.

_We both laughed at Robyn's unmotivated self and went off to class._

_I guess I haven't seen Dustin in awhile. He hasn't called me either. I should call him._

Phone conversation between Dustin and Me:

Dustin: Hello?

Me: Hey, it's me, Naillie.

Dustin: Oh, hi.

Me: Why haven't you called?

Dustin: Busy.

Me: Oh.

Dustin: Naillie?

Me: What?

Dustin: Well, I don't think this is working out.

Me: What?

Dustin: I don't want to be with you anymore?

Me: What?

Dustin: I have to go, Bye.

_Huh. What?. How? Dustin. He just broke up with me. More like dumped. _

I guess the next day went a little better. Actually it was great. Well, don't want to keep you waiting. God. This brings back so much memories.

_Naillie's Journal:_Tuesday, September27th , 2005

_Word got around that the new boy has joined the group of nerds and is super-smart. Actually, I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend who knew more than me. Yes, it would be slightly intimidating, but, you know, it's kinda better than dating a dimwit who would throw footballs into nets and score basketballs. Anyway, I would definitely get the 411 on him. But, god forbid, it gets around school that I like him. Robyn and Odette- my new friend from this year- would freak. I guess I'm really desperate. I still can't believe Dustin dumped me. I walked into Mrs. Banks first period and saw a boy sitting right behind my seat where Karmen used to sit before her mother took a job in Georgia. And he was the first one in the room too. Definitely a total nerd. I slid in my seat and instantly he spoke. He said something like "Hola, my name is Adan". Then I introduced myself, fast. I turned around and for the first time, listened to what the teacher was saying. I felt weird around him. I shuddered at the thought and went on with the boring day with Adan on my mind. It was the end of the day and I was heading to catch Robyn before her mom picked her up from school, when I saw a figure closing in on my right. Someone tapped my shoulder, and I shrieked._

You probably know who it is but anyway, here's the conversation:

Stranger: Sorry, girl.

_I turned around and saw Odette._

Me: Oh, hey. What's up.

Odette: I was just wondering...

_I saw her eyes wander._

Me: What?

_She started whispering._

Odette:Did you see the new guy?

Me: Yeah, I saw Adan,

_I felt weird saying his name._

Me: he's in all of my classes.

Odette: Awesome, Robyn told me he was great for-

Me: No, he's not. Anyway, did I tell you?

Odette: What?

Me: Dustin broke up with me.

Odette: Why?

Me: He didn't give me an explanation.

_Odette's phone rang._

Odette: Sorry, I have to go.

Me: See you tomorrow, Bye.

Odette: Bye.

Haha. I got you. It wasn't Adan, but soon he will get his chance, maybe. I guess love doesn't tap you on the shoulder. And it really doesn't come easy to me. I mean, Dustin breaks up with me for no reason at all. There has to be something wrong with me or I wouldn't be putting off guys everywhere I go. Adan must have felt horrible when I avoided him the rest of class, being the new kid and all. Ugh. Falling in love is so complicated. I have no idea why I'm thinking about love when I'm 14. I mean, I'm young and sure to fall in love someday. But I think I'm just too afraid of being alone, vulnerable, and fragile like I am now.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Slip...Slip, Slide

This day was, how can I say it, Well, the greatest day in my whole life. And, of course, the days that follow. Let's get straight to the journal.

_Naillie's Journal: _Friday, September 30th , 2005

_It has been raining lately, and the lake is covered in ice. I overslept today and was rushing to class. I stepped, well, I almost tripped when I came through the door. I stared at Adan. He was so...beautiful. Wow. I stumbled in my seat and took a quick glance at Adan. He spoke in his silky voice. "Hola." See, he could probably teach me Spanish. I turned around again. Stupid. I was so rude to him. I was mesmerized by his calm expression the whole day. It was 5__th__ period in Mr. Krom's Language Arts class when I noticed a stressed, confused look on Adan's face. I ran over to him after class and demanded what was wrong. Instead of responding, he went over to the parking lot. Why? He didn't even turn around. Everyone else did though. See, I deflect guys. There was a huge crowd over where I usually walk to my next class, so I went over to where the thin pathway was, where the lake stood, in its entirety. The pathway was at least 30 feet long, that's why I never took it, the other way took less time. 6__th__ period, Miss Eliza, who taught U.S. History was playing a video about World War II today and I just wasn't interested. I started shuffling, knowing I would be late, and not knowing that a bunch of crazy teenagers that were excited about ending the school in a hour and it being Friday. I turned around and accidently got knocked over on to the ice. I slide a few feet away from the sidewalk on my back when I saw Adan from the corner of my eye, staring at me, 15 feet away. He had a distraught look on his face, like I was going to get hit by a piano that's falling out of the sky. I broke from his gaze and struggled to get up. It was difficult, my hands, already red were slipping every time I tried to pulled myself up. I saw that Adan started walking toward me. Finally, a boy was coming toward me, not just disgusted by my very presence. Why was he so worried? I treated him like crap and he's going to help me get up. I started to shiver and I shuffled back and forth trying to regain my balance when-CRACK! My eyes bugged out as I noticed the ice was much thinner than I imagined. I could get out, right? I could swim back with just really wet clothes, I guess I would be that one who got soaked. After a bunch of cracks, the ice from under me just broke apart and I fell into the freezing water. I knew that before I was submerged into the water that everyone had gone to class except for Adan. I opened my eyes to find the ice covering the lake was only two inches thick and the rest was crisp, frigid water consuming me in it's death trap. It felt like knives nipping at my whole body. Seconds had only past and I felt like passing out. I closed my eyes. They felt hot in the stone-cold water. I was going to die. I suddenly felt two firm hands grabbing around my waist and under my legs. I heard someone's voice in the far corner of my mind. _

You are probably wondering what happens. Obviously I live, but my life takes a total turn. Is it for the worst or for the better.Here's theconversation that goes on around me while I think I'm dreaming, dazing in and out of consciousness.

I felt heavy pants coming from someone's chest. My head was then laid gently on the uneven concrete. Two hands laid on top of each other were hitting right above my left breast. A whispering voice caught my attention.

Adan: "...2,3,4..."

What happened next caught me off guard. Warm, wet lips came into contact with mine, forcing air into my lungs.

Adan: Breathe! Breathe!

Pints of water escaped my throat then. My eyelids were heavy, my body not seeming to want to move. I had to see him. Adan. I opened my wary eyes wide, lifting my head to see my savior. He disappeared. All I saw were the students, many of them, that I thought had gone to class, now hovered over me. I was the major attraction. My eyebrows creased. Where did he go? He was just here. Everyone continued asking me questions, to me they all were mushed together. All I could focus on is the fact that he didn't want to be noticed. Suddenly I caught his eyes, a pool of pure emerald gems staring back at me. He was probably around 70 feet away from me. I could only see him in this crazed crowd of people. We're the only ones here. His darting stare is piercing mine and he whispers in a soft murmur only I can hear, "Are you alright?" Mesmerized by his supple lips moving, I quickly came out of my daze and whispered back, "Yeah".

Conversation in a hospital room:

Doctor Atal: Really, all we can do is cover her with blankets and run an iv through her.

Nadine, Naillie's mother: Thanks doc.

Dr. Atal: No problem. Seems she's waking up, I'll come back later.

Me: Mom?

Mom: Hey, honey. The doctor says your going to be fine. But to stay overnight.

Me: Ok...so where's Adan?

Mom: Oh that boy, he's in the waiting room.

Me: Can you bring him in?

Mom: Sure, anything for you.

Me: Thanks.

I really didn't think Adan would be waiting to see me, but I guess he wanted to see what he had saved. I'm still wondering why he looked so stressed walking out of 5th period.

Conversation between Adan and Naillie:

Adan: Hey, wonderful.

_I was wonderful. And why did he have a smirk on his face?_

Me: Hi?

Adan: Well, looks like you survived. You had me scared.

Me: How did you save me?

Adan: Ok, I guess you want to start the questions. First, I was raised in Tampico, Mexico. Which is right next to the ocean.

Me: Oh. Well, thank you.

Adan: I couldn't just let you drown.

_By now, I was lost in his sparkly green eyes. _

Me: Sorry.

Adan: It wasn't your fault.

_He was really confused. It was kinda hot._

Me: No, not that. I mean, for ignoring you.

Adan: I saw it has hard to get.

Me: Funny!

Adan: Yeah, so, when are you getting out?

Me: I have to stay overnight.

Adan: I'll stay too. Unless I'm annoying.

Me: No, but-

_He laid his index finger over my still blue lips._

Adan: Great!

_Oh. My. God. He touched me._

Now were getting somewhere. So where does it go from here. I love reading it again. Reminds me of how kind he was. I going to read another journal entry so I can reminisce.

_Naillie's Journal: _Saturday, October 1st , 2005

_We stayed up most of the night, until he demanded me to go to sleep. It was so easy to fall asleep in his presence, even though I just wanted to stay up to talk to him and, of course, look at his perfect face. I had a feeling he was watching me sleep, but that only made me even more comfortable. I woke up to him, his head laying on my bed, on its right side, facing me. He was sound asleep. I didn't want to wake him, so I watched him sleep. I realized that, for the first time, I felt like a princess, who just got saved by her Spanish lover who she hasn't seen, instead in dreams, and feels like they have known each other their whole lives. And I loved it. I looked at the clock. 8:41a.m.. I positioned myself upright so I could watch tv on a low volume. Adan flinched. I didn't even touch the remote because obviously he was a very light sleeper. I wouldn't trade anything if I could watch him sleep forever. I realized that my hair was really scraggly and knotty. I saw my book-bag on the chair a few feet away from the hospital bed. I reached over as far as I could that I almost fell off. Adan woke up instantly._

Conversation between Adan and Naillie:

Adan: Huh? What are you doing?

_I smoothed my hair a little._

Me: Nothing.

Adan? Why are you awake?

_He let out a yawn._

Adan? What time is it?

Me: I wanted to let you sleep. And it's-

_I looked up at the clock._

Me: 8:49a.m.

Adan: Oh. You should've woke me.

_He seemed disappointed._

Me: Sorry.

Adan: No, it's okay. It would have been great to talk to you. So, how are you feeling?

Me: I'm okay.

Adan: I can't wait to get out of here.

Me: Well, there's the door.

_I was being sarcastic._

Adan: Funny, but I'd rather be with you.

Me: You must have a girlfriend back in Mexico.

Adan: Actually, I did. But it's over now.

Me: I don't want to pry-

Adan: You don't seem like a person who would do that.

Me: Well, Adan, I don't think you know me so well.

Adan: Of course I do, you're funny, clumsy, and perfect.

Me: Have you ever heard that nobody's perfect.

Adan: Yeah I think I've heard that. But, to me, you are perfect.

Me: I bet you say this to every girl.

Adan: Nope.

Me: And how do I know you're telling the truth.

Adan: You don't. Yet.

Me: Oh, so you think that were going to hang out after this.

Adan: That's what I'm planning.

Me: You seem pretty cocky Adan-

Adan: Dalry. Adan Dalry.

Me: I'm Naillie Lindall.

Adan: What's you're birthday?

Me: July 6th.

Adan: Mine is February 22th.

Me: 1991?

Adan: Yep.

_Suddenly there was knock at the door._

Who's at the door?

Conversation:

_I saw Robyn and two guys I didn't know walk in._

Adan: Hey Oliver and Wes.

_I was elated!_

Me: Hey Robyn.

Adan: Oh, this is Naillie, boys.

_They spoke in unison._

Oliver and Wesley: Hi!

Me: Hi. This is Robyn.

Oliver: Like the bird.

Robyn: Actually it's spelled a different way.

Oliver: Cool!

_Robyn and Oliver went to the corner to talk._

Adan: Where's your girlfriend Melanie?

Wes: It's Saturday. She's sleeping in. Anyway, we were supposed to meet at the basketball courts.

Adan: Sorry, I forget.

Wes: So, my mom told that you were at the hospital because you saved a girl.

_Wes looked at me_.

Adan: Can I talk to you alone?

Wes: Sure.

_Adan looked at me._

Adan: I'll be back.

Me: Ok.

Adan and Wes left the room.

_I was sad to be away from him._

Okay, so, you are probably wondering-What are they going to talk about? Well Adan told me later on what the conversation was about. So, here it is.

Conversation between Adan and Wes:

Adan: Wes, I think I'm in love.

Wes: Whoa, ok, how?

Adan: I just, I don't know. I feel wonderful when I'm around her and horrible when I'm away.

Wes: Wow, are you for real?

Adan: Yes. Wes, do feel this way toward Melanie?

Wes: Sometimes. I guess, at times I need her.

Adan: What do I do?

Wes: Go with the flow.


End file.
